By the time Lucy woke up and rolled out of the sunshine’s reach, it was after ten in the morning. She stretched and smiled at the white tiled ceiling that was beginning to become familiar to her. She pulled the covers up and tucked them under her chin.

She looked over at where Matt had been laying on top of the covers. In his place was a sheet of paper. Picking it up, she smiled at his surprisingly elegant scrawl as she began to read:

Gone to get breakfast. Be back soon. If you need to leave, could you leave the door unlocked?

She grinned at the last line.

Hope you’ll still be there when I get back though.

She smiled and put the sheet on the night table and pulled herself out of bed. She wondered if Matt would mind her taking a shower.

She tried to ignore the pain in her shoulder as she stood beneath the comforting blast of hot water. She refused to look at the bruise that was still there, the result of Gabriel’s anger. She hoped it would finally be gone soon.

She had to admit that the one good thing that she’d been given as a result of all of the trouble Gabriel had caused was Matt. Aside from, you know, having her life spared. She would have never met Matt had it not been for Gabriel, which she had to admit was sort of twisted in a way. He’d given her Matt.

At least, she hoped she had Matt. She’d gotten into the habit of coming to visit him since that night a few weeks ago. He was always happy to see her. She managed to get a lot of work done when she’d brought work to do. The silence of his apartment, save for his rhythmic typing, provided her with a perfect study place for her midterms. No stupid hallmates barging in drunk of demanding to know if some part of their body looked infected or not, or bragging about their night’s conquests. She was comfortable with Matt, but it wasn’t just because he provided her with a safe haven to stay. It was the deep brown eyes that saw the person inside her when she spoke to him, who listened when she needed to vent. She was happy with Matt. He seemed happy with her. He was always asking if she’d be around again, had a little snack or something ready for her when she came. He’d even cleaned off one of his desks against the window so she’d have a place to work whenever she wanted. Matt seemed to like her too.

Lucy frowned at the shower head. So why hadn’t anything happened yet? Not a hint, not a touch (outside of the friendly hug hello and goodbye). She’d never been in this position before. Her past boyfriends had always made clear their intentions. While she didn’t always agree with them, she knew where she stood.

With Matt? Who the hell knew?

As she dried herself off, she wondered if she should say or do something. Matt had been clear that he hadn’t had a lot of experience in previous relationships. But she didn’t want to make too strong a move in case she scared him off.

She continued to dab at her hair after she’d changed into her clothes. It was up to her then. She’d have to do something.

Her cell phone went off as if to mark her making the decision. Scooping it off the night tablem she frowned at her call display.

Her not-boyfriend, Tim. She didn’t answer. She’d tried to break it off with him, but he seemed convinced that he was the best thing for her. Lucy damn near smiled at the temptation to answer and tell him, Not anymore.

She got dressed quickly and in the bathroom in case Matt returned before she was finished. She smiled at the embarrassment that would register across his face, how he’d probably stutter and blush and close the door again. She laughed at the thought.

Maybe she would change outside.

She’d just pulled her shirt over her head without Matt walking in when Matt’s phone rang. She wondered for a moment if she should answer it. She decided against it, since she didn’t think that very appropriate. Friends shouldn’t answer other friends phones if it had nothing to do with them. Lucy wondered for a moment if that same rule applied to girlfriends. Not that she was in that position.

Lucy half-listened to Matt’s “leave a short message after the beep”. She stopped completely when a female voice came across the answering machine.

“Hi Matty, it’s me. You never called me last night like you said you would... So I’m just calling to make sure that you’re still okay with me crashing at your place for the weekend... And I can’t wait to see the new place... not that I didn’t love your other one, it’s just... okay, I didn’t like your other one. So, yeah, call me back and let me know. Okay? Love you lots. Talk to you later!... Oh! And I found something for you when I was away, so I’ll bring that too. Okay, love you, bye.”

Lucy felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. As much as she tried to fight it, the puzzle pieces in her head about Matt were starting to fit. Only she wasn’t part of it. Matt was keeping her at a friendly distance, not being too forward. And now Lucy knew why.

He had a girlfriend.

Lucy kicked herself mentally until she felt her synapses were bruised. How could she have been so stupid? Normally there were signs earlier that someone was taken. Cell phone calls from the significant other and the like. She sighed. She wasn’t here every day and very rarely during the day, except for the very few sleepovers they’d had.

Last night’s sleepover, Lucy decided, was going to be the last.

As she grabbed her sweater and started to put her shoes on, the shock that she felt was slowly beginning to burn into a jealousy. Of course this happened. This always happens. The good ones are always taken. She hoped the woman on the other end of the phone was good to Matt, because he deserved the best.

“I found something for you when I was away, so I’ll bring that too.”

Lucy stopped tying a shoelace for a moment. A shuddering thought raced past her heart and froze it. The person on the other end of the phone had obviously been gone somewhere. Had he been putting in time with her? Simply wanted some company while his girlfriend was away? She’d thought he was one of the good ones, but it was hard to tell now. Granted, he hadn’t actually done anything with her that could be considered cheating. But if he was only looking for someone to...

It had been her who made the first move in the hospital, and he had responded. But he hadn’t done anything since. Not really anyway. A hug and a comforting shoulder when she was plagued by nightmares? She shook her head at how stupid she felt.

She had to get out. She wouldn’t let him see her like this. With her luck, he’d calm her down, have some logical explanation and then she’d be dragged into it all again. She didn’t want to be friends with Matt. She knew that now. She wanted so much more, more than he could give her. And she couldn’t stay here. Not anymore.

Grabbing her sweater, she left the apartment without a second glance. She left the door unlocked as she’d been instructed. She felt sadness creep in as she thought of that last line that Matt had written. It had given her so much pleasure this morning, but now made her stomach turn.

With great relief she didn’t meet him on the stairs, and she exited the building as her cell phone rang. She pulled it out. It was Tim again.

This time, she answered the phone.
--

Matt felt a twinge of disappointment and confusion as he realized that his apartment was empty. Lucy had left, without so much as a note or explanation why. With a sigh, he put the extra coffee and the cinnamon roll that he knew was her favourite on her desk, as though he naively hoped she might come back to work.

He thought about calling her, but not knowing whether or not her leaving was his fault made it a little difficult to apologize. He turned on his computer and began to work, trying not to look at the empty desk that sat so vacant nearby.

Feeling warm and slightly distressed from Lucy’s unexplained absence without even a note, Matt shrugged off his jacket. Turning, he tossed it, aiming for the couch. He missed and it landed on the table in front, covering his keys, a few books, and his answering machine, whose blinking number ‘1’ was now impossible to see under the jacket.

Matt sighed, rubbed his eyes, and tried to get back to work.